What grief taught me about caring for others 

Andy, Funeral Services Crew Member, shares how loss, resilience and openness shape the way he cares for others - at work and beyond.

My journey into Funeralcare hasn’t been a straightforward one. I met my late wife Lisa when I was 21, and we had two amazing boys together. She died nine years ago, when I was in my early 30s, and everything changed overnight. 

Grief doesn’t come with a manual. My mental health has been up and down over the years, especially as a single parent navigating loss and change. I’ve had different jobs along the way - from warehousing to working for the council - and I’ve trained in counselling too, which really helped me and my boys. What I’ve learned is that your past never leaves you, but it does shape how you show up in the world. 

Why this job matters to me 

Working as part of the Funeral Service Crew is the best job I’ve ever had. I can relate to what families are going through because I’ve been there myself. I understand the shock, the silence, and how important dignity and respect are in those moments. 

Everything I do is about care - for the person who’s died and for the people around them. Our team all want the same thing: to make sure loved ones are treated with respect and that families feel supported. That shared sense of purpose really matters to me. 

Talking, listening and normalising mental health 

I’ve always been open about my mental health and I’m a big advocate for talking. I was involved with Andy’s Man Club for years, and that showed me just how powerful it is to sit in a room where people can be honest. 

Sometimes support starts with a simple question - “How are you, really?” - or a bit of humour to lift the mood. I try to listen as much as I talk. You never know what someone’s carrying, whether they’re a colleague, a friend, or a stranger. 

What I’ve learned 

Life can deal you a rough hand, but it doesn’t define you. Dark days come and go, and stressing doesn’t make them easier - reaching out does. For me, resilience isn’t about being cheerful all the time; it’s about keeping on, being kind, and letting others know they’re not alone. 

If my story helps even one person feel able to start a conversation or seek support, then it’s worth sharing.  

Remember you don’t have to do it alone. 

• Andy’s Man Club – You can find your local group via the Andy’s Man Club website. The sessions are free, informal and focused on talking and listening. 
• Co‑op Wellbeing Hub – If you’re a Co‑op colleague, the Wellbeing Hub brings together a range of mental health resources, guidance and support options. 
  • Including some dedicated support for bereavement. 
• Start with a conversation – That could be with a colleague, a mate, a manager or someone you trust. You don’t need to have the right words - just starting is enough. 

Andy Whyment, Funeral Service Crew